Careful experimentation by a team of distinguished scientists has verified that Arden understands some words. There are probably others that we haven't yet figured out, of course. Below is an excerpt from the study, to be published in the Journal of Arden's Development later this month.

 

"Bounce Bounce Bounce" or "Jump Jump Jump"

 - In adult minds, these are different actions, the former being accomplished while sitting and the latter while standing. It's not entirely clear if subject [Arden] makes any distinction, but he clearly understands both. When researchers say either phrase--even when carefully avoiding any body-language hints--subject immediately starts to bounce up and down. This is also accompanied by a smile and a facial invitation for others to join in the fun.

 

"Hug"

 - Particularly effective if subject is already sitting on a lap, this request will cause subject baby to lean in towards the speaker's chest, open to receiving a loving squeeze.

 

"Milk"

 - Though the effect of this word is hard to pin down, subject clearly associates it with nursing or bottles. Particularly if subject is already hungry, hearing "milk" will cause subject to notice his hunger and agitate for immediate amelioration of same.

 

"Clap Clap Clap"

 - Not 100% effective, this usually produces clapping on the part of the subject baby. If the baby is holding objects in his hands, this will cause them to be banged together, similar to the effect of "Bang Bang Bang."

 

"Wave" and "Bye Bye"

 - Subject, when in the proper mood, will wave goodbye (and occasionally hello). This behavior is most commonly exhibited when subject sees himself in a mirror.

 

"Nn-Nn-Nn"

 - This vocalization is used by subject in repetition to indicate displeasure or urgency. Possibly related to English "No," though subject does not respond appropriately when told "No" by authority figures.